Good coffee—even decaf, according to one baffling study—can really send you racing to the bathroom. Listeners to Marc Maron’s WTF podcast were long forced to think about this bowel-shaking phenomenon over years of the comedian’s scatological ad reads, but modern medical science has yet to really land on a settled explanation for why coffee makes so many people need to drop a deuce. One 2025 medical paper described it, I think hyperbolically, as “the subjec